Wednesday 27 November 2013

Fringeless & Friendless

Re-cap:

I started this Blog way back in early 2007.

Was diagnosed with a stone in the left ureter after feeling sharp pain, swelling, terrible food intolerance, drunkenness, lethargy, disability and severely highly blood pressure.

Something was seen on the CT scan but it was rejected.
My diverse symptoms were both rejected and neglected and the lump I could feel just grew and grew and caused me massive weight gain.

Have had several investigations and a full hysterectomy.

My huge swelling has disabled me and kept me mostly house bound.
A CPN comes to see me about Agoraphobia but she can't move forward with it because she can feel a 'moving lump' in my abdomen and is as adamant as I am that the Agoraphobia will remain while my disability and the knock-on effects of the injustice remains.

I think it's fair to say that all the symptoms I have blogged about over the years are very evident.
They have been obvious to 2 CPNs who came to deal primarily with my ' MENTAL' problems, that is, Agoraphobia and Anxiety.

Additionally I was diagnosed with a Hernia but the GP also failed to follow that up even though it looks obvious that there's something there.

I was amazed that I recently passed the ESA assessment ~

mostly because it's so hard to stay on it but also because of the GP's failure to support me.

I have been kept on the support group for another 3 years.

This means that I don't have to attend meetings and appointments.

However, I believe the reason is to do more with the Agoraphobia than the neglected physical diagnosis.

After being in receipt of a higher rate of DLA, my new Doctors refused to support me and I gave up trying for 5 years.
When I eventually appealed, I was awarded the lowest rate - indefinitely.

All of this neglect is related to a destructive comment on my Medical Records during my childhood. It has given me an incorrect label of Hypochondriasis.

During these years of illness, I lost my niece to Anorexia, my sister (her mother) to heart failure, 2 unforgettable friends, last year my dad and a few weeks later my husband.

My sister died on my sofa at 47 and I attempted to resuscitate her but obviously ineffectively and my husband ~ well he died in my bathroom last September.
I really struggled to climb the stairs to get to him - only to have to go back downstairs to get a sledge hammer to break a hole in the locked door.
There he was, lying on the floor just starring up at me.

My disability hindered me from following the Paramedics phone instructions for chest compressions.
My huge swollen, painful belly caused me to lose balance and I nearly fell on top of him.
Thankfully on the first couple of compressions 2 paramedics flew up my stairs and took over.

They got my husband back after 40 minutes ~ that is, they got his heart going again.
But he had already died of his RUPTURED BERRY ANYEURISM.

Now, here I was - ill - medically neglected with 2  back to back bereavements - 2 young teenagers, one with Autism/Aspergers and everything else that goes with it.
Stuck between a rock and a hard place ~ "What to do? What to do?"
So I stuck to THE ROCK ~ that is the Jesus I know and trust because ONLY he could get me through this.
I am definitely NOT one of those strong types but all of this must be making me stronger.
But I DO wish I could experience some calm ~ there's been far too much storm for my liking.

In my PAST LIFE I was a Freelance Artist and Writer ~ then Alena Wright (now Richards)

Apart from painting and doing line drawings for a small history publisher, I also wrote 2 Children's Books but if they weren't put on the review shelf for 2 or 3 months, they were returned as rejected.

 When I became ill my bodily chemistry began to change and as a result, changed ME.

Trying to stand up without pain or difficulty put me off painting and writing.
Feeling very heavy and sore in my abdomen put me off.
Always sitting uncomfortably put me off.
Overwhelming lethargy also ROBBED me of the desire to even THINK about it.

So the months have rolled by and I haven't been ONE been interested in using the gifts and talents that I love. A couple of weeks ago when I was in an exceptionally dark place - all of a sudden, my thoughts completely changed from dark to light.

"Use the tools you have!" is what came to me ~ something that I had read in one my daily e-mails from Pastor Joel Osteen.
He is supposed to be a controversial preacher but I need encouragement at this time in my life and I definitely got it.

Not only have my desires and artistic enthusiasm been resurrected - my 2 children's books have come forth out of the catacombs and have received some resurrection power.

One of them, FRINGELESS + FRIENDLESS was published 3 days ago on KINDLE, KINDLE FIRE, KINDLE PAPERWHITE, KINDLE HD, i-Pad and i-Phone.

I NEVER expected this out of the doom and gloom of my life.

I am SO excited that I have something to be excited about.
Because I cannot tolerate medication I haven't taken any anti-depressants and I cannot take BP medication.

I had to walk away from my laptop as the book was in the process of being published because I couldn't physically cope with the excitement.

Here's FRINGELESS + FRIENDLESS

If you buy PLEASE leave me a comment in the comment box and click on which star rating you think the book deserves.

Many thanks !

Enjoy reading   

Fringeless & Friendless by Alena CB Richards

















 

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